There comes a point where people value safety and appearance over the truth. Sometimes plausible deniability is the key to never looking like a fool. But sometimes when we fail to be true to ourselves and admit what we really want we end up feeling really uncool! Like my mission to dance with Ellen DeGeneres, I don’t think I would of come this far had I not made it a point to declare to myself and the world, at times standin in a pumpkin suit, that I want to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! Had it not been for that defining moment in my life I would have never of experienced the thrills and chills of this experience. Had it not been for that moment, I can’t help but think of all the people who would never of found their way into my life. All the stories I wouldn’t be able to tell. The fact that I totally pissed off the Chair of a non-profit organization because I happen to run into her 18 year old daughter! The friends I’ve made along the way! The enthusiasm, cheer, and sense of accomplishment after I left the office of AtomicX realizing that I’m not the only person in the world who wants to have dinosaur shaped vehicles!
Until we say out loud what we truly want in life we must hold ourselves responsible for the unforeseen dynamics that result! Sometimes when a dude is to cool to tell a chick how he really feels another dude comes along who isn’t! Even if you out class him in like every way, the longer you wait, the further you fall behind in the game! Before u know it you end up back at square one wonderin why you were worried about looking cool! You can’t help but feel happy for the girl, knowing deep down it’s probably what makes sense. Happy she found someone who can appreciate her openly for how amazing she is Then again it totally sucks too, cause you know that it should be you , but you pussied out and decided relationships are just not your thing, no matter how your heart flutters at the thought of holding her poorly manicured hand! No matter how much you try to logic through your feelings and talk her out of your head. Love, lust, passion, ambition, motivation, etc. these are all emotions that consume you! You can’t talk yourself out of them because when you do you’re left looking for something to fill a void. The irony being that what you’re lookin for you already had!
Truthfully, the point I’m making is that dreams/goals are a relationship! They are a relationship between yourself and the you you can potentially be. If you want something say you want it! If you fear rejection, fear change, fear the awkwardness of coming out and professing to the world that this is who you are and what you’re all about, then you miss out. You miss out on the freedom that comes with being true to yourself. You miss out on the ability to live, to feel life, to suck existence in and make it your own. You miss out on the soft kiss, the silent gaze, and the tender touch of everything being right in the world because you’ve given up on making excuses. Is it ever to late to give up on yourself, I think not. You make mistakes and you move on. Sometimes given the right spark you may end up with a second chance. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Sometimes you have to recognize countless other opportunities await for you to conquer. Sometimes you need to rationalize that your passion isn’t going to be wrapped in the prettiest package. Then again you take off the paper and see what’s underneath and become mesmerized with each subtle curve encompassing your prize!
Is it easy? If what ignited the flame was worthwhile it shouldn’t be easy to move on. Let the burn be a lesson. Then again it’s never fun being a pussy!
*Thoughts roll off into a tangent thinking about……;)
If you take one thing from this it should be to suck it up! If you have something to say, say it with confidence. If you truly fear the repercussion, you’re a bitch! Dreams are a matter of the heart. No matter how illogical those dreams may be, you can’t lie to yourself. You can’t hide from yourself. So why the hell do we make it a point to be unfair to ourselves?
PS: Totally check out my dudes channel! He’s a bad ass! If it wasn’t for him, you all wouldn’t have the opportunity to watch the Ally pop all those damn bubbles!
PS PS: I totally cuss to make myself feel less like a wuss!
At the end of the day we’re all a little bit of everything rolled into one! But many of us are afraid to show this because we fear being ostracized. The joke being that we all feel this way and we all know given the right situation these aspects of our psyche come out! This idea will forever be emphasized by me until I draw my last breath! Humanity as a collective is a truly interesting species. The fact that manipulation plays a role in how we perceive ourselves is truly fascinating. The idea that we can fool ourselves into believing existence ever sits still should truly force us to question our perception. 
) I’m 23 years old, have no credentials, no degree, and nothing of value to my name outside of my Pokemon games, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and dinosaur toys! But despite that I have a dream, I have faith in myself, I have enough passion, enough love, and enough stubbornness to carry myself through the trials and tribulation to my finish line! Ellen DeGeneres, I’ll never give up! I wish you all the love in the world, but I won’t stop until I dance with you! Till I feel that defining moment!