Human Puppet

“Everything I need to know about life is in a game of pokemon! Train hard, level up, and beat the elites at their own game!”

Life is like a game of pokemon, we all start out with something that makes us bad ass! Maybe it is a fire breathing lizard, monkey, hedgehog, or chicken. Maybe it’s a turtle that blows bubbles and has the ability to shoot razor sharp leaves out of NOWHERE. Or a penguin that evolves into a metal clawed freak of nature. Or a salamander that will one day earthquake everything in it’s path and wash it down with a hydro pump! Point is, we all start out with something!

We take our something and we love it, grow it, develop it, foster it, and raise it! Through competition and countless battles we hone our skills! Fire beats steel, grass ends water, and we learn to deal with weird abnormalities or occurrences we didn’t expect to see coming! Like Shuckle, who would of thought that little dude was such a defensive beast? (Or grandma’s who walk in on ya, or the mother’s of girls who like you, or creepy stalkers!) But one of the greatest lesson’s to learn is that in order to beat dragon, we got to have a dragon and/or an icy confidence about us! Until we make it a point to step up and take on a challenge, such as dancing with Ellen DeGeneres, it will never happen! Until you say, “Ya, I’m going to do this regardless of what stands in my path!” you will never be a pokemon master!

Seriously, being a pokemon master is no easy task! There are a lot of pokemon to capture, to raise, and challenges associated with making sure you got the right type for the job. But given enough time investment, study, and team building experiments we can all find the right pokemon to balance out our team dynamic! We can all rise to any challenge, understanding with confidence that we have a good team to fall back on.

To those who are reading this, the major point here is that we all start out with level 5′s! But in the end we can have as many level 100′s as we decide necessary! We make our way through the mundane redundancies of Pidgy’s until we capture our first legendary! From that moment on our eyes are opened and we see just how awe inspiring our world can be. Kinda like dating and that first time you feel like you’re in love. Then you meet the next chick that throws your mind around itself. Gym leaders who once terrified us, forcing us to save our game before the battle, end up being laughable memories once our first elite four victory championship montage scrolls across the screen! Even the elite four end up being to easy as we progress to other formats, finding other players of equal skill to associate ourselves with. But until we make the first movement, decide that we are going to go off into the world of pokemon, decide to choose that first poke ball and progress through our story, we’re never going to experience the thrill of summoning Charizard! Unless we make it a point to find other players who can help guide us, mentor us, and challenge us we’re never going to acquire our full potential!

This isn’t going to make sense to everyone who reads it. But to those who do, you get it, and I hope you make it a point to strive for the battle frontier!

“You’re a nobody!”
“You’re not important!”
“You’re not good enough.”
“What makes you better than anybody else?”
“You’re just a guy from Kentucky! You’re never going to do it!”
“ARE YOU GAY?”

These are all statements that I’ve heard from family members, random people on the streets, ex girlfriends, family members of girls I’ve associated myself with, and creepy old women that feel their age provides them the status to be jerks! Don’t get me wrong, I love old women, but come on now grandma, just because you don’t get what it is I’m trying to do or why I’m trying to do it, that doesn’t give you the right to step all over me! I’m a cool dude, but that movie “HOT FUZZ”, the scene where the guy goes flying over the fence and ninja kicks that old women in the face, at times that thought is all that gives me peace, that and the idea of actually acquiring my nirvana and dancing with Ellen DeGeneres!

For starters, I’m not a nobody! Every time someone tells me that I’m wasting my time trying to dance with Ellen because I’m not important enough I have to wonder to myself what they deem a person of value is? I think many people who set out to do amazing and impossible things let people get to them. They hear enough times that they aren’t important, that they aren’t special, that they are nobodies and somewhere deep down inside they start to believe it. It’s as if as a culture we collectively make it a point to pull people down who want to fly. Much like gravity, sometimes you just got to be a little inventive to defy it!

I’ll never believe anyone who tells me I’m not good enough to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I’ll never accept that I’m just not important enough! Honestly, at this point in my life I’ve met my fair share of “important people”! Truth be told, they’re just like everybody else I meet at the core of it. They all have struggles, they all have issues, insecurities, wants, dreams, and passions. But truthfully if they would have not believed in themselves enough to pursue whatever career they are excelling at, would they ever be the people us “lowlings”, as my aunt so graciously put it, admire and respect? No limitation, no barrier, no issue is great enough to stop someone from capturing their Ellen dance! I want an ELLEN DANCE! I will never give up on this! I will never believe I can’t pull it off! I will never accept other people’s opinions as justification to lose myself! Though my road is a turbulent one to traverse, I will not turn back! I will march forward, I will keep my head held high, I will smile when I feel as if I need to cry, I will not be a puppet, I will pull my own strings, I will do my own thing, and I will not lose faith in myself or my friends, without whom I’d never of made it this far!

With all this said, I hope you all can say the same about yourselves! Also, if you come across a purple cow, ask it some questions! Purple cows are amazing marketing tools and totally the hippest way to pick up chicks! SUCK ON THAT DUDE WHO PICKED A FIGHT WITH ME IN MY PUMPKIN SUIT! Suck on that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I was a PIMP (I am a PIMP, but u know) I’d have to powder my hand and BIOTCH SLAP CINCINNATI in the face!
I recently got denied three times from receiving sponsorship from prilosec! Their reason, who knows? I’m just so tired of living in a city that makes it a point to promote it’s crime rate and not it’s talent. I’m so tired of this mid-western conservative nature. I’m tired of meeting new talent that instead of being embraced is going to be shunned. I’m tired of walking down streets where a majority of my neighbors look at me as a freak because I happen to have a fine black chick on my shoulder. I’m tired of having gay friends who are laughed at for exhibiting public displays of affection. I’m tired of inherently diverse fields, such as art, being so clear cut and defined. I’m tired of police officers and neighbors afraid of walking down the streets of Cincinnati because black people are out and about. I’m tired of being told that my videos have to many black people in them. When I go out and film, I walk the streets of Cincinnati. I don’t make it a point to include or exclude anyone, I simply film whoever happens to be on the streets. I’m tired of reality TV being fake, I’m tired of participating in an education system that says my only options are lawyer, doctor, teacher. I’m tired of living in a place that trains people to traverse the safe route and not to chase their dreams. I don’t really know what my life will be like in the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years. I don’t even know if I’ll be alive tomorrow, I hope so But honestly, the only nirvana I can imagine at this point in my life is standing next to Ellen on that stage of hers, screaming “YES!!!” at the top of my lungs, and table hopping like crazy. This is not that far fetched of a dream. This is not an impossibility. I honestly feel for the first men to investigate the fields of science and mathematics. My struggle is to dance with an amazing celebrity. Their struggle was to convince and transform an entire cultural perspective behind the mechanics of existence. But the fact we live in a world where people have walked on the moon, been to the depths of the oceans, and can have their entire genome mapped out is testament to the capabilities of countless people having faith in themselves.

I can’t even begin to tell you how bad I want an internship with some marketing company! How cool it would be to be around other individuals who comprehend the power that is the media industry. From my understanding LA, Hollywood, and movie sets are all real things! But around here it’s as if these “things” only exist within our imaginations. I’m so tired of people going on about not having money to fund this, not having money to do that, while the only thing that truly ever seems to be going on is the opening of another new restaurant. Honestly, if one more company, corporation, or person tells me money is not available to develop this project further, I’m going to cry. We live in a world where people buy million dollar iPhones, golden toilet seats, and hundred thousand dollar collectibles. We live in a county that does not discriminate about spending $8.00 on a pedicure file thing to clean your feet. People choose to spend a quarter to use plastic bags over bringing their own reusable ones. Money should never be an issue concerning project development. The only issue is building the right team and the more I beat my head against this invisible concrete wall trying to find someone who understands interactive marketing in this area, the more I feel like I’m beating a dead horse.

Everyday I wake up and try to organize some new idea, new video shoot, anything to capture the attention of Ellen DeGeneres! People continue to hate on me! Now that Ellen is one of the judges on American Idol people are telling me that maybe before I had a chance, but now, now my odds of dancing with her, let alone ever meeting her are an impossibility. I’m so tired of the negativity. If dancing with Ellen DeGeneres was easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing. As previously written, I remember when people told me I wouldn’t have a website, I remember spending weeks looking for decent camera guys. This whole project from the beginning has continued on despite people telling me that I’d never get to the next step. My mission is to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! That is my dream, that is my cause, and one way or another I’m going to make that happen because the only limitations in life are the ones we place on ourselves. The more people that tell me I won’t, the more girlfriends and family members that lose faith in me, the more people tell me it won’t happen, the more energized I get. The more determined I become at wanting to make it happen.

People keep asking me why I want to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! Simply put, I just want to dance with her! I just do! Honestly, do we need more motivation to do anything in life? I’ve watched “The Ellen Show” more than my fair share! I’ve supported and laughed at Ellen’s comedy countless times, even in the face of ridicule and on numerous occasions have used her pop-corn movie theater stand-up bit to nab a pretty chick’s number. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered to myself how cool it would be to jump over her table with her! As many of you know who are reading this blog entry, I’ve been working on a project called www.humanpuppet.com!

The fact that I want to dance with Ellen DeGeneres is what gave me the motivation and the courage to set out and start developing my own reality show project! This whole thing started with me sitting in an Arby’s arguing with a friend!

I was talking with my friend about some ideas I had for helping a college organization I’m affiliated with raise some money! That is where the concept of developing a web based reality show sprouted! My friend started laughing saying it would never happen! Somehow I became overwhelmed with emotion! I don’t know what it was, but in that moment I told my friend that I would dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I would not only do that, but I would develop my own reality show and make 2 million dollars in the next two years! He continued laughing and told me that we were on! Dancing with Ellen has always been one of those thoughts that resided in the back of my head! Obviously if I randomly blurted it out in a moment of passion, it was in there somewhere!
At that moment as I swallowed one of my 5 for 5.95′s I just made three huge goals! I could of laughed them off, joked about them, and dismissed them as pointless word vomit! But instead I made a commitment to myself and to all the people who ever sat back and had someone tell them that they would never do something! At that moment my life changed! I went from being another biology major sitting in classes being told this is what you have to do to get into med school to being an entrepreneur full of ideas and challenges that even I could not foresee! Many of my challenges resulting from the fact I live in the Cincinnati area! This is not me being disrespectful of my home town, it is simply me pointing out that the Cincinnati area is ridiculously conservative and as community does not respect and support it’s local underground talent. A wrong that I hope I can change within my lifetime!

Within the past year I’ve collected over 3,000 signatures from people who want to see me dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I’ve secured roughly $50,000.00 in support and sponsorship to develop and build out my reality show project. Just about everything on my site has a story behind it. From the color scheme, to the logo, to the name, to the motto, to the weird little skits we’ve done up to this point! Everything I’ve put into to bring this project this far has days and hours of labor and energy invested into it! I’ve been kicked out of numerous populace places for talking to people about wanting to dance with Ellen! Been ridiculed for wanting to dance with Ellen, been told I’m wasting my time, and laughed at in ways that probably would of discouraged many others. At the start of the project many people thought I was crazy. For starter’s, being a poor a college student, I didn’t exactly have the proper repertoire of experience or knowledge to jump right into any project. But each of my small victories developed more confidence in me! The best thing about each of my victories is that they won me more friends!

My dream is to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I don’t know what I have to do to make that happen, but one way or another I’m going to make it happen! I’m going to make it happen because people believe in me, people love me, and most importantly, because I believe in me! I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of haters along the way! But I’ve also made lots of friends! If had not been for this project I would have never gone to a networking meeting downtown, where in my sparkle jacket I jumped on top a table and started making dinosaur sounds. If had not been for this, I would have never met Jai who is in charge of inktank, a local non profit that deals with creative development in the city! If it had not been for Jai, I would not have met countless underground artist that opened my eyes to the bubbling under-life and talent that calls this place home. (Plus, between you and me, if it had not been for Jai I would have never met SMIBBIT! Who is hands down one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met in my life!)

If it had not been for me deciding I was going to do this, I would have never met my boy’s at AtomicX! I love those guys! From the moment I walked into their office building, I knew that I found some really cool people! If it had not been for me making these outrageous claims to my friend on that life altering day eating roast beef sandwiches, I would not have a killer dance song mixed and mastered for miss Ellen, the queen bee herself! If it had not been for me deciding to move along with this project and transform words into actions, thoughts into reality, and passion into results lots of cool things would not have happened to me! Lots of cool people would not be part of my life (such as my camera dudes!). Point is, I hope you all take one thing from this! I hope you all take away that we should dream big, really, really, really big! We should dream so big that people think we have a screw loose! I love all my fans and I thank you all for all the support and love! I love you too mama, because if it had not been for you instilling in me good values (and some damn fine chromosomes) I don’t think I’d be able to do what it is is I’m doing!

If Ellen DeGeneres is reading this, girl I love ya! Your amazing and I hope to one day be able to say that face to face!

Dream BIG and never forget that the only limitations in life are the ones we palce on ourselves!

Forest Humanpuppet Thomer
(513) A PUPPET

Today was a day of victory! It was one of those days that everything just seemed to fall into place! From beginning to end, TODAY was the type of day that I wish everyday could be like!

It started off with me volunteering at my mom’s school! She teaches at an inner city school in Cincinnati. A lot of the students there have yet to realize the importance of writing and the value such a skill possess in developing their life! So I got to teach a class on writing to 1st graders! Long story short, I helped demonstrate how writing is basically painting a picture with words by drawing various dragons and dinosaurs on the board for the kids! It was kinda cool, OK IT WAS REALLY COOL! We took words like eye and head, put them together and started drawing pictures! The kids got really creative when we started talking about dragon’s! I ended up drawing a 5 headed dragon with tattoos and a flaming sword tail! Anyway the kids had fun and they all wanted to hug me!
I’m not sweet! All these girls keep telling me I’m sweet! I’m not sweet! I’m not sweet! I’m a gangster, I’m a heart breaker, I’m a BAD BOY But I’ll admit a few smiles came to my face from that! This one little guy walked up and asked to shake my hand! LOL! I wish you all could of seen the look on the kid’s face when I started making my dinosaur sounds! LOL!

Afterwards I called up some people and made a few arrangements! Mid March www.humanpuppet.com is going to do an amazing random act of kindness! We are totally going to help a cripple girl live one of her life long dreams! I’ll keep ya all in suspense, but trust me! I found some people who are willing to help and it’s going to be amazing! I think I’m just as excited as she is to see it happen!

THEN, I get home and check my twitter account! Ellen DeGeneres…
A.K.A. the girl I want to dance with more than anything in the world
A.K.A. @TheEllenShow
A.K.A. The coolest celebrity in the world
A.K.A. queen bee is following me on twitter!

I don’t know if it was the hours of tweeting her to follow me, the hours tweeting other people to tell her to follow me, or the fact I stated that I want to dance with her a million times, scream her name, or my recent update stating the following, “I STUNT ON THOSE LAME HOES, Tyra can suck it”

I don’t know what happened or what I did, I just know Ellen DeGeneres is following me on twitter! That means in someway, shape, and/or form she knows who the humanpuppet is!

HAPPY DAY! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Totally danced around the room, ran outside and screamed, rolled in the snow, and shouted some more! I’m so pumped! So, so, so, so, so pumped! Next step, dance with ELLEN!

If that wasn’t enough, I got a date with a really pretty girl tomorrow! Looking forward to kissing my SMIBBIT!

This is Forest, A.K.A. the humanpuppet reminding you all that if you want anything in life you can have it! You just got to work for it and go at it with everything you have! My mission this week was to get Ellen following me on twitter! Sure enough, her in all her greatness is! It’s a verified account LOL!

Upon the first time I set foot in OTR I witnessed an environment filled with a plethora of potential. Growing up across the river, a member of the other side, my life has been filled with explanations of terrible atrocities associated with OTR. A place filled with gang violence, drug addicts, homeless people, disease, a real life dodge city in comparison to the pleasant peaceful bliss of my slowly dissolving country roots. Throughout my life OTR has been a place describe to me in a fashion only comparable to that of a war-zone. A place to be avoided like the agonizing fires of hell. A place full of degenerate people who offer nothing more to civilized society than bodies in our jails and fear to our souls. I remember a time when I felt uncomfortable driving down the streets with my doors unlocked. I remember a time when walking the streets, let alone interacting with members of the community, appeared mentally as suicide. But the first time I crossed into the streets of OTR; terrible, horrific, disgusting, vile, and other such like minded descriptive prose was not the picture painted for me.

For a good portion of my life the mentality of my home community has been to avoid problem areas instead of embracing them. Despite any of the negative connotations associated with OTR, a beautiful array of culture exist. Like an intricate experiment on the Galapagos islands, OTR is a place of beauty and aw. Though it’s landscapes may be harsh to some, it truly is a place where only the strong survive. It’s culture, a totally chance melting pot is a blend of the highly wealthy and the poorest of the poor. It is a place where interaction amongst crack heads and businessmen on the verge of incomprehensible venture collide. It is a place where countless niches may arise or fall given the slightest whim by the powers at be. OTR has a culture all it’s own and as such has the potential to produce talent the world has never seen. OTR has all the ingredients, all the diversity, and all the capacity to harbor and generate individuals who can turn the world anyway it desires if for no other reason than the conversation generated by countless polarized logic!

OTR is a world stuck in transition. If ecology teaches us anything, it is that when environments are thrown into chaos nature develops creative solutions. Flowering plants, flying mammals, multicellular organisms forever stuck in countless symbiotic relationships necessary for survival. If history teaches us anything it is that man has the capacity to alter it’s environment in ways that not even we can fully understand the repercussions. The point I’m making is that chaos gives rise to creativity and humans alter their environments based off creative processes. These alterations can may result in good or bad, however you define that.

What I, what we seek is a face, a name, an entity, a voice that can help us harbor the resources necessary to develop the true underground and raw talent OTR offers. To help direct the creative processes of our relatively unknown polished eyesore in a manner that appreciates us for us. An individual who has the type of social pull capable of catching the eye’s of other like people to help us build a community center that is a positive agent of change. A person who can bring the right kind of soil necessary to grow our rose. A person like Bootsy Collins.

Right now we have a gifted community that will only continue to be ostracised as bearers of useless talents, unless a person with real status steps up and leads us.

I’m like the new Ashton Kutcher except I have a thing for black girls instead of MILF’s! I don’t get why everyone thinks that is weird, I can’t be the only dude to check out an Apple Bottom!

Everywhere I go people say hey you remind me of Ashton Kutcher! I guess that’s good! Ashton Kutcher is not an ugly man, I assume he is cool, but seriously? I’m so totally the opposite of him! For starters he is married to a Cougar MILF! I’m a single guy who loves black women (ladies I don’t over-look talent from the other categories, just have a preferred taste for chocolate.)

Not in foods I don’t like chocolate, unless of course it is poured all over some hot chocolate (I know that just confused like all 5,000 people reading this over my shoulder!) In the future I need to invest in a working computer so people at the library don’t ask me weird questions! I don’t read over your shoulder, ya that’s right, who feels like a moron now, LOL (I’m totally keeping that in there just out of spite creeper!) I love you!

Anywho, Ashton Kutcher has a TV show and what not, I got www.humanpuppet.com and my show is like 10,000 times better than PUNKed! One day when big networks catch on I’ll totally laugh at Kutcher! We’d make amazing friends, could you imagine the hell the two of us would generate? We’d be like the coolest TV show host duo in the world!

There was a point to writing this but I lost it! On the bright side met a few new cute girls to hang with, I just need to start focusing on generating more sponsorship and income off this project. I can’t keep being the hunky, charming, intelligent, ambitious dude who is broke off his ass. So frustrating, oh wells on the bright side I get to learn what women love me for me and not those looking for status! Begone thoughts of she-devil I do not think of, be gone!

Today we got a newsletter sign-up for the site, so sign up and send us some episode suggestions!

Peace my crackers!

(humanpuppet.com does not endorse discrimination against white people, so please no hate mail!)

Advertising is just like flirting! If you want to find someone you got to make it a point to put yourself out there! That is what I did today! This morning I got up and wrote www.humanpuppet.com (probably a thousand times) on the back of some scrap paper. I then cut all the paper into strips and now I have environmentally friendly business cards. After that I watched “The Ellen Show”. I pictured myself dancing next to her, threw my hands up in the air, and screamed! I just know it’s going to be amazing to dance with her.

Then I thought about my Ellen song I’m working on, then about my ex-girlfriend Miss Serene Rivers and how great she sounds on my track. Then I got sad because she lost faith in me and my project. It’s so frustrating taking on a project like this. But it’s also amazing! Whenever I start to get discouraged and think about all the people who make fun of me I just envision the thrill of finally pulling it off. I get this overwhelming feeling of peace when I picture the day I’m standing next to Ellen. The joy of being able to say I told you I could do it! I told you that with enough confidence and determination greatness can be captured. That’s what keeps me going, that idea that one day I’ll capture a dream, one day I’ll dance with Ellen DeGeneres, one day I’ll be a role model who can speak from experience when I inspire people. No matter how difficult, tedious, and down I may get on myself when things don’t work my way, I have to keep the vision.

So after dancing in front of the TV for a bit I ate lunch with my dad! Another frustrating experience. I know he loves and supports me, but he thinks my project is weird!

I had a meeting today with ITOLDUSO! That was pretty cool! Nothing makes me happier than talking with other young people who are taking charge of their own lives, doing things their way! The meeting went well and I headed out to inktank and chatted up with an artist friend of mine who is drawing me a picture of an Angel Ellen! (GOIN TO BE BAD ASS!) I then walked around Cincinnati handing out my eco-friendly b-cards!

While at inktank my friend Jai All Day who is the founder of Cincinnati’s Conscience ran around (and stole) my red feathered boa! Just something about being around her makes me happy! It gives me faith in the city, lets me know that it’s ok to be different, ok to be ambitious, and cool to laugh at jokes about cannibalism.

With that I leave you all with a question…

“Is it abnormal to be happy your not normal?”