Human Puppet

Tag: Forest Thomer

ELLEN DEGENERES: I’m good enough to dance with you bc I decided so :P

by Forest Thomer on Feb.27, 2010, under Uncategorized

“You’re a nobody!”
“You’re not important!”
“You’re not good enough.”
“What makes you better than anybody else?”
“You’re just a guy from Kentucky! You’re never going to do it!”
“ARE YOU GAY?”

These are all statements that I’ve heard from family members, random people on the streets, ex girlfriends, family members of girls I’ve associated myself with, and creepy old women that feel their age provides them the status to be jerks! Don’t get me wrong, I love old women, but come on now grandma, just because you don’t get what it is I’m trying to do or why I’m trying to do it, that doesn’t give you the right to step all over me! I’m a cool dude, but that movie “HOT FUZZ”, the scene where the guy goes flying over the fence and ninja kicks that old women in the face, at times that thought is all that gives me peace, that and the idea of actually acquiring my nirvana and dancing with Ellen DeGeneres!

For starters, I’m not a nobody! Every time someone tells me that I’m wasting my time trying to dance with Ellen because I’m not important enough I have to wonder to myself what they deem a person of value is? I think many people who set out to do amazing and impossible things let people get to them. They hear enough times that they aren’t important, that they aren’t special, that they are nobodies and somewhere deep down inside they start to believe it. It’s as if as a culture we collectively make it a point to pull people down who want to fly. Much like gravity, sometimes you just got to be a little inventive to defy it!

I’ll never believe anyone who tells me I’m not good enough to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I’ll never accept that I’m just not important enough! Honestly, at this point in my life I’ve met my fair share of “important people”! Truth be told, they’re just like everybody else I meet at the core of it. They all have struggles, they all have issues, insecurities, wants, dreams, and passions. But truthfully if they would have not believed in themselves enough to pursue whatever career they are excelling at, would they ever be the people us “lowlings”, as my aunt so graciously put it, admire and respect? No limitation, no barrier, no issue is great enough to stop someone from capturing their Ellen dance! I want an ELLEN DANCE! I will never give up on this! I will never believe I can’t pull it off! I will never accept other people’s opinions as justification to lose myself! Though my road is a turbulent one to traverse, I will not turn back! I will march forward, I will keep my head held high, I will smile when I feel as if I need to cry, I will not be a puppet, I will pull my own strings, I will do my own thing, and I will not lose faith in myself or my friends, without whom I’d never of made it this far!

With all this said, I hope you all can say the same about yourselves! Also, if you come across a purple cow, ask it some questions! Purple cows are amazing marketing tools and totally the hippest way to pick up chicks! SUCK ON THAT DUDE WHO PICKED A FIGHT WITH ME IN MY PUMPKIN SUIT! Suck on that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Environment is what you choose it to be!

by Forest Thomer on Jan.14, 2010, under Uncategorized

Upon the first time I set foot in OTR I witnessed an environment filled with a plethora of potential. Growing up across the river, a member of the other side, my life has been filled with explanations of terrible atrocities associated with OTR. A place filled with gang violence, drug addicts, homeless people, disease, a real life dodge city in comparison to the pleasant peaceful bliss of my slowly dissolving country roots. Throughout my life OTR has been a place describe to me in a fashion only comparable to that of a war-zone. A place to be avoided like the agonizing fires of hell. A place full of degenerate people who offer nothing more to civilized society than bodies in our jails and fear to our souls. I remember a time when I felt uncomfortable driving down the streets with my doors unlocked. I remember a time when walking the streets, let alone interacting with members of the community, appeared mentally as suicide. But the first time I crossed into the streets of OTR; terrible, horrific, disgusting, vile, and other such like minded descriptive prose was not the picture painted for me.

For a good portion of my life the mentality of my home community has been to avoid problem areas instead of embracing them. Despite any of the negative connotations associated with OTR, a beautiful array of culture exist. Like an intricate experiment on the Galapagos islands, OTR is a place of beauty and aw. Though it’s landscapes may be harsh to some, it truly is a place where only the strong survive. It’s culture, a totally chance melting pot is a blend of the highly wealthy and the poorest of the poor. It is a place where interaction amongst crack heads and businessmen on the verge of incomprehensible venture collide. It is a place where countless niches may arise or fall given the slightest whim by the powers at be. OTR has a culture all it’s own and as such has the potential to produce talent the world has never seen. OTR has all the ingredients, all the diversity, and all the capacity to harbor and generate individuals who can turn the world anyway it desires if for no other reason than the conversation generated by countless polarized logic!

OTR is a world stuck in transition. If ecology teaches us anything, it is that when environments are thrown into chaos nature develops creative solutions. Flowering plants, flying mammals, multicellular organisms forever stuck in countless symbiotic relationships necessary for survival. If history teaches us anything it is that man has the capacity to alter it’s environment in ways that not even we can fully understand the repercussions. The point I’m making is that chaos gives rise to creativity and humans alter their environments based off creative processes. These alterations can may result in good or bad, however you define that.

What I, what we seek is a face, a name, an entity, a voice that can help us harbor the resources necessary to develop the true underground and raw talent OTR offers. To help direct the creative processes of our relatively unknown polished eyesore in a manner that appreciates us for us. An individual who has the type of social pull capable of catching the eye’s of other like people to help us build a community center that is a positive agent of change. A person who can bring the right kind of soil necessary to grow our rose. A person like Bootsy Collins.

Right now we have a gifted community that will only continue to be ostracised as bearers of useless talents, unless a person with real status steps up and leads us.

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Black Girls and Ashton Kutcher

by Forest Thomer on Jan.05, 2010, under Uncategorized

I’m like the new Ashton Kutcher except I have a thing for black girls instead of MILF’s! I don’t get why everyone thinks that is weird, I can’t be the only dude to check out an Apple Bottom!

Everywhere I go people say hey you remind me of Ashton Kutcher! I guess that’s good! Ashton Kutcher is not an ugly man, I assume he is cool, but seriously? I’m so totally the opposite of him! For starters he is married to a Cougar MILF! I’m a single guy who loves black women (ladies I don’t over-look talent from the other categories, just have a preferred taste ;) for chocolate.)

Not in foods I don’t like chocolate, unless of course it is poured all over some hot chocolate ;) (I know that just confused like all 5,000 people reading this over my shoulder!) In the future I need to invest in a working computer so people at the library don’t ask me weird questions! I don’t read over your shoulder, ya that’s right, who feels like a moron now, LOL (I’m totally keeping that in there just out of spite creeper!) I love you!

Anywho, Ashton Kutcher has a TV show and what not, I got www.humanpuppet.com and my show is like 10,000 times better than PUNKed! One day when big networks catch on I’ll totally laugh at Kutcher! We’d make amazing friends, could you imagine the hell the two of us would generate? We’d be like the coolest TV show host duo in the world!

There was a point to writing this but I lost it! On the bright side met a few new cute girls to hang with, I just need to start focusing on generating more sponsorship and income off this project. I can’t keep being the hunky, charming, intelligent, ambitious dude who is broke off his ass. So frustrating, oh wells on the bright side I get to learn what women love me for me and not those looking for status! Begone thoughts of she-devil I do not think of, be gone!

Today we got a newsletter sign-up for the site, so sign up and send us some episode suggestions!

Peace my crackers!

(humanpuppet.com does not endorse discrimination against white people, so please no hate mail!)

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