ELLEN DEGENERES: I’m good enough to dance with you bc I decided so :P

“You’re a nobody!”
“You’re not important!”
“You’re not good enough.”
“What makes you better than anybody else?”
“You’re just a guy from Kentucky! You’re never going to do it!”
“ARE YOU GAY?”

These are all statements that I’ve heard from family members, random people on the streets, ex girlfriends, family members of girls I’ve associated myself with, and creepy old women that feel their age provides them the status to be jerks! Don’t get me wrong, I love old women, but come on now grandma, just because you don’t get what it is I’m trying to do or why I’m trying to do it, that doesn’t give you the right to step all over me! I’m a cool dude, but that movie “HOT FUZZ”, the scene where the guy goes flying over the fence and ninja kicks that old women in the face, at times that thought is all that gives me peace, that and the idea of actually acquiring my nirvana and dancing with Ellen DeGeneres!

For starters, I’m not a nobody! Every time someone tells me that I’m wasting my time trying to dance with Ellen because I’m not important enough I have to wonder to myself what they deem a person of value is? I think many people who set out to do amazing and impossible things let people get to them. They hear enough times that they aren’t important, that they aren’t special, that they are nobodies and somewhere deep down inside they start to believe it. It’s as if as a culture we collectively make it a point to pull people down who want to fly. Much like gravity, sometimes you just got to be a little inventive to defy it!

I’ll never believe anyone who tells me I’m not good enough to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I’ll never accept that I’m just not important enough! Honestly, at this point in my life I’ve met my fair share of “important people”! Truth be told, they’re just like everybody else I meet at the core of it. They all have struggles, they all have issues, insecurities, wants, dreams, and passions. But truthfully if they would have not believed in themselves enough to pursue whatever career they are excelling at, would they ever be the people us “lowlings”, as my aunt so graciously put it, admire and respect? No limitation, no barrier, no issue is great enough to stop someone from capturing their Ellen dance! I want an ELLEN DANCE! I will never give up on this! I will never believe I can’t pull it off! I will never accept other people’s opinions as justification to lose myself! Though my road is a turbulent one to traverse, I will not turn back! I will march forward, I will keep my head held high, I will smile when I feel as if I need to cry, I will not be a puppet, I will pull my own strings, I will do my own thing, and I will not lose faith in myself or my friends, without whom I’d never of made it this far!

With all this said, I hope you all can say the same about yourselves! Also, if you come across a purple cow, ask it some questions! Purple cows are amazing marketing tools and totally the hippest way to pick up chicks! SUCK ON THAT DUDE WHO PICKED A FIGHT WITH ME IN MY PUMPKIN SUIT! Suck on that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why ELLEN DEGENERES and the orgin of humanpuppet

People keep asking me why I want to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! Simply put, I just want to dance with her! I just do! Honestly, do we need more motivation to do anything in life? I’ve watched “The Ellen Show” more than my fair share! I’ve supported and laughed at Ellen’s comedy countless times, even in the face of ridicule and on numerous occasions have used her pop-corn movie theater stand-up bit to nab a pretty chick’s number. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered to myself how cool it would be to jump over her table with her! As many of you know who are reading this blog entry, I’ve been working on a project called www.humanpuppet.com!

The fact that I want to dance with Ellen DeGeneres is what gave me the motivation and the courage to set out and start developing my own reality show project! This whole thing started with me sitting in an Arby’s arguing with a friend!

I was talking with my friend about some ideas I had for helping a college organization I’m affiliated with raise some money! That is where the concept of developing a web based reality show sprouted! My friend started laughing saying it would never happen! Somehow I became overwhelmed with emotion! I don’t know what it was, but in that moment I told my friend that I would dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I would not only do that, but I would develop my own reality show and make 2 million dollars in the next two years! He continued laughing and told me that we were on! Dancing with Ellen has always been one of those thoughts that resided in the back of my head! Obviously if I randomly blurted it out in a moment of passion, it was in there somewhere!
At that moment as I swallowed one of my 5 for 5.95′s I just made three huge goals! I could of laughed them off, joked about them, and dismissed them as pointless word vomit! But instead I made a commitment to myself and to all the people who ever sat back and had someone tell them that they would never do something! At that moment my life changed! I went from being another biology major sitting in classes being told this is what you have to do to get into med school to being an entrepreneur full of ideas and challenges that even I could not foresee! Many of my challenges resulting from the fact I live in the Cincinnati area! This is not me being disrespectful of my home town, it is simply me pointing out that the Cincinnati area is ridiculously conservative and as community does not respect and support it’s local underground talent. A wrong that I hope I can change within my lifetime!

Within the past year I’ve collected over 3,000 signatures from people who want to see me dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I’ve secured roughly $50,000.00 in support and sponsorship to develop and build out my reality show project. Just about everything on my site has a story behind it. From the color scheme, to the logo, to the name, to the motto, to the weird little skits we’ve done up to this point! Everything I’ve put into to bring this project this far has days and hours of labor and energy invested into it! I’ve been kicked out of numerous populace places for talking to people about wanting to dance with Ellen! Been ridiculed for wanting to dance with Ellen, been told I’m wasting my time, and laughed at in ways that probably would of discouraged many others. At the start of the project many people thought I was crazy. For starter’s, being a poor a college student, I didn’t exactly have the proper repertoire of experience or knowledge to jump right into any project. But each of my small victories developed more confidence in me! The best thing about each of my victories is that they won me more friends!

My dream is to dance with Ellen DeGeneres! I don’t know what I have to do to make that happen, but one way or another I’m going to make it happen! I’m going to make it happen because people believe in me, people love me, and most importantly, because I believe in me! I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of haters along the way! But I’ve also made lots of friends! If had not been for this project I would have never gone to a networking meeting downtown, where in my sparkle jacket I jumped on top a table and started making dinosaur sounds. If had not been for this, I would have never met Jai who is in charge of inktank, a local non profit that deals with creative development in the city! If it had not been for Jai, I would not have met countless underground artist that opened my eyes to the bubbling under-life and talent that calls this place home. (Plus, between you and me, if it had not been for Jai I would have never met SMIBBIT! Who is hands down one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met in my life!)

If it had not been for me deciding I was going to do this, I would have never met my boy’s at AtomicX! I love those guys! From the moment I walked into their office building, I knew that I found some really cool people! If it had not been for me making these outrageous claims to my friend on that life altering day eating roast beef sandwiches, I would not have a killer dance song mixed and mastered for miss Ellen, the queen bee herself! If it had not been for me deciding to move along with this project and transform words into actions, thoughts into reality, and passion into results lots of cool things would not have happened to me! Lots of cool people would not be part of my life (such as my camera dudes!). Point is, I hope you all take one thing from this! I hope you all take away that we should dream big, really, really, really big! We should dream so big that people think we have a screw loose! I love all my fans and I thank you all for all the support and love! I love you too mama, because if it had not been for you instilling in me good values (and some damn fine chromosomes) I don’t think I’d be able to do what it is is I’m doing!

If Ellen DeGeneres is reading this, girl I love ya! Your amazing and I hope to one day be able to say that face to face!

Dream BIG and never forget that the only limitations in life are the ones we palce on ourselves!

Forest Humanpuppet Thomer
(513) A PUPPET

ELLEN DEGENERES FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER AND OTHER AMAZING NEWS

Today was a day of victory! It was one of those days that everything just seemed to fall into place! From beginning to end, TODAY was the type of day that I wish everyday could be like!

It started off with me volunteering at my mom’s school! She teaches at an inner city school in Cincinnati. A lot of the students there have yet to realize the importance of writing and the value such a skill possess in developing their life! So I got to teach a class on writing to 1st graders! Long story short, I helped demonstrate how writing is basically painting a picture with words by drawing various dragons and dinosaurs on the board for the kids! It was kinda cool, OK IT WAS REALLY COOL! We took words like eye and head, put them together and started drawing pictures! The kids got really creative when we started talking about dragon’s! I ended up drawing a 5 headed dragon with tattoos and a flaming sword tail! Anyway the kids had fun and they all wanted to hug me!
I’m not sweet! All these girls keep telling me I’m sweet! I’m not sweet! I’m not sweet! I’m a gangster, I’m a heart breaker, I’m a BAD BOY :) But I’ll admit a few smiles came to my face from that! This one little guy walked up and asked to shake my hand! LOL! I wish you all could of seen the look on the kid’s face when I started making my dinosaur sounds! LOL!

Afterwards I called up some people and made a few arrangements! Mid March www.humanpuppet.com is going to do an amazing random act of kindness! We are totally going to help a cripple girl live one of her life long dreams! I’ll keep ya all in suspense, but trust me! I found some people who are willing to help and it’s going to be amazing! I think I’m just as excited as she is to see it happen!

THEN, I get home and check my twitter account! Ellen DeGeneres…
A.K.A. the girl I want to dance with more than anything in the world
A.K.A. @TheEllenShow
A.K.A. The coolest celebrity in the world
A.K.A. queen bee is following me on twitter!

I don’t know if it was the hours of tweeting her to follow me, the hours tweeting other people to tell her to follow me, or the fact I stated that I want to dance with her a million times, scream her name, or my recent update stating the following, “I STUNT ON THOSE LAME HOES, Tyra can suck it”

I don’t know what happened or what I did, I just know Ellen DeGeneres is following me on twitter! That means in someway, shape, and/or form she knows who the humanpuppet is!

HAPPY DAY! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Totally danced around the room, ran outside and screamed, rolled in the snow, and shouted some more! I’m so pumped! So, so, so, so, so pumped! Next step, dance with ELLEN!

If that wasn’t enough, I got a date with a really pretty girl tomorrow! Looking forward to kissing my SMIBBIT!

This is Forest, A.K.A. the humanpuppet reminding you all that if you want anything in life you can have it! You just got to work for it and go at it with everything you have! My mission this week was to get Ellen following me on twitter! Sure enough, her in all her greatness is! It’s a verified account LOL!

Black Girls and Ashton Kutcher

I’m like the new Ashton Kutcher except I have a thing for black girls instead of MILF’s! I don’t get why everyone thinks that is weird, I can’t be the only dude to check out an Apple Bottom!

Everywhere I go people say hey you remind me of Ashton Kutcher! I guess that’s good! Ashton Kutcher is not an ugly man, I assume he is cool, but seriously? I’m so totally the opposite of him! For starters he is married to a Cougar MILF! I’m a single guy who loves black women (ladies I don’t over-look talent from the other categories, just have a preferred taste ;) for chocolate.)

Not in foods I don’t like chocolate, unless of course it is poured all over some hot chocolate ;) (I know that just confused like all 5,000 people reading this over my shoulder!) In the future I need to invest in a working computer so people at the library don’t ask me weird questions! I don’t read over your shoulder, ya that’s right, who feels like a moron now, LOL (I’m totally keeping that in there just out of spite creeper!) I love you!

Anywho, Ashton Kutcher has a TV show and what not, I got www.humanpuppet.com and my show is like 10,000 times better than PUNKed! One day when big networks catch on I’ll totally laugh at Kutcher! We’d make amazing friends, could you imagine the hell the two of us would generate? We’d be like the coolest TV show host duo in the world!

There was a point to writing this but I lost it! On the bright side met a few new cute girls to hang with, I just need to start focusing on generating more sponsorship and income off this project. I can’t keep being the hunky, charming, intelligent, ambitious dude who is broke off his ass. So frustrating, oh wells on the bright side I get to learn what women love me for me and not those looking for status! Begone thoughts of she-devil I do not think of, be gone!

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Peace my crackers!

(humanpuppet.com does not endorse discrimination against white people, so please no hate mail!)